W O R K

My work experience has changed tremendously over the years. I started off as an office clerk for a doctor, got to see how crazy pregnant people are... (trust me they get cray if you can't fit them in for an appointment). Then Hollister... where I basically slacked off and folded clothes all day errday (& couldn't see because it was so dark).

Then I liked working at the Art Building at Pacific, except for the fact it was far, dark and scary. Working at the LCC with all the Hawaii kids were fun, but honestly we just fooled around the whole time. Things got serious when I came home, I worked at Nordstrom. Honestly I loved my managers, my co workers, I DID NOT love the pressure of making someone buy something, or the "commision". It was not a fun place to work at but I did like being around clothes, and fashion. As you know I am obsessed with anything artsy, so makeup, drawing, painting, photography, fashion, I LOVE LOVE LOVE.

anyways we must go on, and now working at the USPS, I will say is the WORST JOB I'VE EVER HAD. not because of the job requirements, I can do all the physical work, but the fact that my supervisors take no responsibility for their actions. They are so unorganized, don't follow the rules and yet have the nerve to be demeaning and discouraging. So much that I'm leaving.

I've learned its not about the money.

At Nordstrom I got paid anywhere from 500$-1500$ every two weeks. BUT I was so extremely stressed out every day for wanted to reach the commission goals, and also dealing with people who steal my sales. It was not fun. 

At USPS I got paid anywhere from $1200-$1800 every two weeks. (Trust me I felt like I was ballin) BUT the stress of not knowing how long I had to work everyday, working sometimes 60 hours a week, dealing with horrible management sucked. I got hurt on the job, my supervisors didn't complete the correct steps so now, I still have back and hip pains, got ZERO compensation.

I am looking for a job that I can grow with. I am tired of hopping from job to job, I want to find something that I will enjoy doing. I just applied for a position at a local retail store, & I am crossing my fingers that I could work there. I know its just retail, but if I could make it somewhere I enjoy working and build a family type relationship I would want nothing more.

If there is something you should take away from this, 
its that Its not about the money, its about being happy. 

If you're fresh out of college, or high school looking for a job, don't worry about the salary, the pay, the benefits, they'll come... get a job that you'll enjoy doing each and every day, because if you don't you'll be unhappy each and everyday.

so CHEERS to happiness. I know God has a plan, and God knows I don't deal with lots of money very well (aka I spend it all) so this is my lesson.

until next time,
lovelove.

sacrifice and love

sac·ri·fice

      ˈsakrəˌfīs/

noun

• an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy. 
• "we must all be prepared to make sacrifices"
• synonyms: surrender, giving up, abandonment, renunciation, forfeiture, relinquishment, resignation, abdication

verb

• give up (something important or valued) for the sake of other considerations. 
• "working hard doesn't mean sacrificing your social life"
• synonyms:  give up, abandon, surrender, forgo, renounce, forfeit, relinquish, resign, abdicate; betray 

I believe that love and sacrifice go hand in hand.  If you love someone & I mean truly love someone wouldn't your main priority be to make that person as happy as they could be? Loving someone is to put their needs and their wants before yours to make them happy. & in return it should make you happy, that they're happy. get it..?

Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, friends, pets... lol everyone makes sacrifices for the ones they love. Its a proven fact. 

And its also like the break up saying that everyone uses... "if you love them you let them go & if its meant to be it'll happen" It's saying you'll sacrifice your happiness to make the other person happy.

Whether its simple decisions like "what do you want dinner?" "do you want to drive?" "can I go out?" "do I have to go to dinner?" (those are just examples from my relationship) But i mean the answer is whats the important part... "can I go out to some bars with the girls?" (while he is flying to another state/country for work) "this always happens when I leave but yeah" "well its okay if you don't feel comfortable i wont" although I DO want to go out, be irresponsible and have some fun with just the girls, but I know that he'll be insecure, he'll worry, he'll be upset and truthfully it isn't worth it. We'll probably fight, hurt each other and be really sad. Their will be times when he's at home and he'll feel more comfortable with a girls night, but when he's away I understand how he feels and I SACRIFICE what I want to do. & in the end I am happier that he's happy.

my favorite "do I have to go to dinner with your family" the answer is always "no you don't have to but it would be nice if you came" because truthfully he doesn't HAVE to but its only if he wants to because he knows I'd be happier with him there. (& he always end up going to family dinners lol) . But what he is sacrificing is his comfort, he isn't always comfortable in situations but he will stride through it because he knows family means a lot to me and he'll make the effort.

(I know these are miniscule sacrifices compared to what others make in relationships but these are just examples of what happens in my relationship.)

Anyways,
If someone isn't ready to sacrifice worldly things for love... well sadly I don't know if its real love. The two go hand in hand, like trust & love. you can't have one without the other. maybe that'll be my next blog.

moral of the blog,
sacrifice = love. love = sacrifice.

& until next time, 
lovelove

in love with being in love.

I've noticed more and more similarities between types of people.

Theres the..
"I don't need anyone" type of person
"I don't want to meet people (forever alone)" type of person
"I don't like commitment" type of person
"I fall too fast" type of person
"I never want to be alone" type of person

and basically what gets to me is the fact that IN OUR MINDS, we are believe that you need someone to make you happy and to fall in love. We were taught you fall in love, you get married, start a family... What we aren't taught is the trials and tribulations before we even fall in love.

I believe that as women we have the final say in who we date, who we want to be with. We are the stronger breed, maybe not always physically but mentally. We know what we want, (someone who loves God, someone funny, tall and handsome, someone thats good with kids, someone that is patient... the list can go on)

So why do we settle for less?

I've come to the conclusion that some people are so in love with the THOUGHT of being in love, that they always need to be in a relationship. Whether or not its with their actual dream person.

but why waste your time on someone that you really can't see yourself with. Life is so short. sometimes people say... "life is short fall in love lots get your heart broken and mend it blah blah blah" NO. i say NO. Don't fall in love lots. SAVE IT. for the right person. DON'T get your heart broken lots, that's just being RECKLESS with what God gave you.

we were made to love God and love each other.

But sharing your heart with someone that will appreciate it, love it, and cherish it is different. Of course in the beginning it'll be a puppy love. But that changes, make sure that they love YOU FOR YOU, not who you once were, not who you are going to be. BUT YOU FOR YOU. Sometimes people love the person they once were, or who they're going to be. But that's only going to make a bumpy road for your relationship because your partner will never be who you want them to be. They'll always be who they want to be.

Because if you find the right person, they'll end up being someone that wants to make YOU happy, whether that means sacrificing things, changing their beliefs, they'll want to please you.

I am just blessed and lucky I found that man at the age of 21 and its been a three year short journey but we've both changed to fit the mold for each other.

 LADIES, don't settle for anything less than what you want.
BE WHO YOU ARE, and PROTECT YOUR HEART.

lovelove

s l o w l y b u t s u r e l y 0 0 1.

my self pity rant. (I think I am allowed one)

anyways, being away from someone really opens my mind, my eyes, and closes my heart. Being alone every night left to walk through my own thoughts and I'm left with wondering WHY.

Why did he feel the need to leave for six days.
Why is it wrong if I wanted to go.
Why can't I see him happy without me.

that's what MY problem is.
I am so completely selfish sometimes, I envy that he can be completely fine and happy without me. (I'm pretty sure it's a mental issue I need to work on). I'm jealous that he's having the time of his life, drinking, adventuring, and I am crying because I miss his voice, I miss his touch, his silliness, his sassy-ness. I miss his laugh, his complaining when I wake up too early. I miss it when it tickles me (even if it hurts because he doesn't know his strength).

The trip is only 6 days long. It's so minor compared to college, being away from each other for months at a time. But then I was living with friends to keep my mind off things, I was going to school and kept busy. Now, when I'm injured, I can't hike, can't play sports, can't work out, I'm a 50 minute drive from my friends. I'm literally stuck in my own thoughts, sinking in them and letting it overwhelm me. 

I know I am being a debbie downer but if roles were reversed I think he would feel the same way. I mean we're in different countries and a 6 hour difference, we rely on wifi to communicate.  I can only imagine how he would feel if I was in another country, adventuring, drinking and having a blast with my friends and only able to talk to him through messages, if there's wifi....

maybe I'm not strong enough to just not care if he's safe, if he's okay. Before I thought it was always a good attribute to have, that I CARE about his safety, his health, his well-being. But now obviously in this day and age, maybe it's "smothering". I may not be "strong" enough but I am insecure enough to think that he might meet a skinnier, prettier, more "care-less" person when he's with his friends. lets look at it this way, he's the most handsome, amazing, loving person I've ever met. But sometimes it hard to see what I bring to the relationship.

It's something I need to work on.
slowly but surely.

c h e e r s

I've never been the best writer but I always wanted to express my thoughts to share with people. We're all on this earth, going through similar situations, and instead of making the same mistakes why don't we learn from our peers. Read or listen to their stories, learn from it and believe in it. I know some people need to make the mistakes and that's the only way they'll learn but I figured for me, I can share my stories, my inspirations, my hopes and dreams to hopefully help someone not make the same mistakes. 

soooo, here's to a blog. 

L O V E l o v e,
b r i l e a